Today I Learned that in Uzbek, Webster’s Dictionary is called “Vebsteringliztilininguchinchiyangixalqarolug’ati”. #English

My wife’s phone hasn’t been ringing off the hook, because phones don’t have hooks any more. What’s the modern equivalent of that expression?

At every #graduation ceremony, a speaker has to say “be the change you wish to see in the world.” That’s kind of alarming to someone who’s working to increase their soil organic matter. 🌱 #gardening

Last week I cut the weeds in my garden into neat rows with a hoe. If you don’t look closely enough to see it’s all lambsquarters, it looks like I have a thriving crop growing. 🌱 #gardening

Transplanted the tomatoes today and put cages around them. In May, the purpose of a tomato cage is to keep me from stepping on the seedlings. 🌱 #gardening

Ran into a friend from college whom I hadn’t seen in thirty years. At one point in the conversation I set up a two-line joke and she beat me to the punchline, just like the old days.

Usually when I go to the hardware store, I occupy two people for 10 minutes to find a part that costs 29 cents. It was almost a pleasure to immediately buy a thing that costs $40 today.

The Oxford English Dictionary has 30 definitions for “man” but only 12 for “woman”. Let’s step up our game! #words

The furthest-from-mainstream church around here put on their sign for Easter, “The cradle and tomb are empty; the throne is full.” I’m no theologian, but “the throne is full” has a different meaning from what they probably meant to say. #WondersAndSigns

I just typed “Plan” and the iPad’s predictive text offered up “B” as the first choice and “A” as the second. It knows me pretty well by now.

Financial reporters call a 10% drop in a stock index a “correction”. Shouldn’t they also call a 10% rise a “mistake”? #stocks

J.R.R. #Tolkien was not above a pun, but I can’t tell if this one was intentional or not. Chapter 13 of the Silmarillion “On the Flight of the Noldor” says, “…there followed after long years of peace, while their swords fenced Beleriand…” What do you think?

A woodchuck was out in the corn stubble today, looking remarkably portly for March. Winter must not have been very hard. #willdlife

Started reading “Careless People”, aka the book Facebook doesn’t want you to read. So far, there’s been an earthquake, a shark attack, and an escape in evening dress from a ruined mesoamerican palace. And I’m only up to chapter 3! This is how to write a memoir. 📚

“He had an engaging callousness about the value of political lives which, if universally shared, would make democracy an enchantingly simple business.” #TheSaint, for the #IdesOfMarch

HOMICIDE, n.
The slaying of one human being by another. There are four kinds of homocide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy, but it makes no great difference to the person slain whether he fell by one kind or another - the classification is for advantage of the lawyers.

Out front of the cemetery, there’s a sign advertising “Spring Special: Up to 20% off”. I guess the logic is something like, “the ground has thawed, so we’re passing the savings on to you!”

Running errands this afternoon, I got stuck behind a Maserati driving 10 mph below the speed limit. I think the driver must be unclear on the concept. #sportscars

One for the vegetable #gardening 🌱 experts: It looks like potash is going to get very expensive soon. What’s your go-to source for potassium?

The only money I spent today was at a taqueria where they know I speak ~5 words of Spanish, but like yanking my chain. I will put up with a lot from a good cook. #strike

Thank you, Germany, for making sure “Alice Überdeutschland” is still just a P.D.Q. Bach joke. #depol

Last fall I left the fallen leaves on my yard, following advice from the #gardening 🌱 people here, because beneficial insects lay their eggs under leaves. Right now, there are about two dozen extremely round robins flipping over leaves and eating whatever’s underneath. Guess it worked.